Dear Queer Radical,

What are your favorite lubes? My Mom’s drunk boyfriend recommends KY Jelly, but somehow, I don’t trust everything he says. Any ideas?

Yours Dryly,

Discouraged

Dear Discouraged,

Way to get greasy. Condoms, gloves, and dental dams all require a healthy amount of lube to be both effective and pleasurable. Hand-jobs and fisting all benefit from the pleasures of lube.

A quick note about lube: if you’re using it with latex it needs to be water-soluble. That will keep the latex from disintegrating. So if you’re running short on lube at home, whatever you do, DON’T USE olive oil, vegetable oil, or Criso with your rubbers.

All that old school KY Jelly that your Mom’s drunk boyfriend recommends prove he’s a drunk. Throw that shit out. It’s nasty.

Go to the nearest sex-toy store you feel comfortable at. While I can get off on the shady corner sex-stores in what’s left of red-light districts, they’re often staffed by folks who know more about porn and poppers than lube. Many cities have LGBTQ and women-friendly, sex-positive, and sexucationally oriented sex-toy stores with friendly folks working who love to share their knowledge. These are my favorite stores for finding out new info.

If you’re in an area without access to a sex toy store or are intimidated by going in (something I encourage you to overcome), I recommend getting your lube online at Good Vibrations or Babeland.

Good Vibrations sells my favorite glycerin-free, creamy lube, Liquid Silk. Free from animal testing and animal byproducts, this lube is compatible with latex, plastics, and rubbers. I’ve used it for both anal, vaginal, and hand-jobs and love it for all. One partner boasts Liquid Silk to be particularly grand for the cunt.

Babeland carries my favorite Anal Lube—Maximus. Maximus is thick, wet, and long-lasting. It’s my favorite for ass-play, toys, etc…As a biostatic lube, it keeps bacteria, yeast infections, and fungi spores from spreading. Yippee.

Some people like using Silicone Lube because it is longer lasting and they use less. The trouble with silicone lube is that it shouldn’t be used with silicone toys—they can meltdown.

When I’m hot and heavy in the haystack, I hate to interrupt my delight trying to remember if a toy is plastic, silicone, or hell—even rope. If I’m using toys, I use water-soluble lube. If you’re using a silicone toy with silicone lube, wrap it up with a condom. It’s a good idea anyhow as it will minimize the risk of bacterial infections.

Some folks like Warming Gels. I find they burn my urethra and irritate my skin. Other folks use the controversial desensitizing gels. I don’t and while I believe you have the right to do what you want with your body, I find the idea unpleasant, dangerous, and unnecessary when approaching sex cautiously and holistically. For me, feeling what my body is doing is critical. Pain teaches us infinite lessons.

If you’re jerking off or are fluid bound with a partner, oil-based lubricants such as Crisco can be a lot of fun. Prior to HIV, fisting clubs used Crisco as their lube of choice. Again, DON’T USE IT WITH LATEX!!!

The reality is that I haven’t tried every lube under the sun. If Queer Radical readers have a lube you recommend or want to send me a sample of something you’re manufacturing, well, I never refuse advice or a gift.

All this said, get lubed and get off!

Yours,

Q.R.